It seems as though I’m always either coming or going. Whether I’m between contracts working abroad or my next travelling adventure, outside of a teaching contract, I tend not to be in one place more than a few months. This rollercoaster of a life feels like it comes to a screeching halt once I’m “home”. And by home, I mean back in my home country at my mother’s house. While living in limbo can be chaotic, it certainly beats routine.
When home, it feels like a constant scramble of trying to visit everyone that I can, work online, and still try to enjoy doing things while there. There’s so much of Canada I want to explore and travel to, yet I always feel that when I have the time at home, I need to see the people I haven’t yet. When I’m free to travel, I want to go overseas. It’s an internal conflict I have yet to balance.
Home is often the time when I plan out the logistics of my next trip. Presently, I’m working out the details to move to Spain. I applied and interviewed for BEDA about seven months ago, and after patiently waiting for three months, I received my acceptance email in May. May was also when I returned home from Canada.
It has been a summer of exploring Ontario, celebrating Canada’s 150th birthday in Ottawa, and running errands. ALL the errands. When you decide to work abroad, much of your time during your “visits” to your home country often include figuring out your visa stuff, banking stuff, health and insurance stuff, among other errands. This can be spread over many weeks depending on how organized you are and how organized the agencies (government and otherwise) that you need to deal with are. I must say, relative to Spain, the jobs that I had in Korea all but hold your hand in completing the processes required. I’m very thankful to have had that experience first or trying to prepare for Spain would’ve made me more confused and anxious than I already am.
Living in Limbo – The Ups and Downs
Despite the anxiety, the regular feeling of nowhere quite being “home”, and always having to spend far too much money to get things notarized ($50 for a stamp?!), living in limbo has its upsides. It has forced me to downsize, which I very much needed to do. I’m still far from being a minimalist, but hey, baby steps. It has given me more patience. Maybe. You may have to confirm that with other people. And it has allowed me to be more appreciative, of both things and people. When you have to really organize who you see and when and only get a short time with them, you really learn to appreciate that time. Same goes for stuff. You are forced to pick and choose what you really need and want to take with you. While living in limbo can be frustrating sometimes, I’ll take the chaos over predictability any day.
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